Godammit, I’m Mad!

I was up late watching TV with my husband when I learned that Chrissie Hynde has formed a new band.  To my horror, she was playing second fiddle, so to speak, to her new beloved, JP Jones, an annoying Welshman half her age.

In case anyone failed to notice the age difference, she warbles it in the song “Perfect Lover.” (I found my perfect lover, but he’s only half my age…) In fact, she and this guy have released an entire album of songs about their doomed relationship. Evidently, Jones wants to raise a family and at 58, Chrissie has hung up her childbearing spurs.

My husband brought home the new CD the other day, and our son asked about it. I explained, “It’s Chrissie Hynde and some douche in a hat.” My husband begged to differ, in a sharp tone. He had seen them perform that afternoon and Chrissie had autographed his CD.

Still, it’s awful. Not just awful, but so awful that I longed to jump out of the car when we had to listen to it on a ninety minute road trip. All the songs are “nakedly” autobiographical, with lyrics like “I’m old, you’re not” ” you surprised me in the bar when I decided to take you home.” It’s like reading the diary of someone you admire and finding a bunch of LOL’s and smiley face thingies.

Poor Chrissie. She is so besotted with this douche that she’s lost all judgment. These songs prove beyond a doubt that a little ambiguity is vital where pop songs are concerned, unless you’re a poet like Hank Williams Sr. It was so embarrassing to listen to this shit, I had to cover my face to endure it.

Patti Smith got herself a cute young guy and let him play in her band, in the background. Not only that, he was a babe. Chrissie, call Patti to find out how it’s done, before that douche empties your bank account!

What the hell are “Fashion Jews?”  Amy Odell is losing it over at The Cut.

The Cut is a HUGE blog. How can this headline still be up after it appeared this morning?! What next, Fashion Blacks? Or is it just a Jew Thing… like Sports Jews, Business Jews, Art Jews? I guess when I go to Starbucks, I’m a Coffee Jew.

I’ll bet you anything, by tomorrow someone will be selling t-shirts that say “Fashion Jew.” I want one!

If only these boots had ______________________.

(opening ceremony $630)

The wait is over: Lucas Revolution is live online.

Like I said over here, I couldn’t love him more. I’m passing along his message -

Dear Lovers,

Luv Lux

When Max and his friend Jonas were around 20 and living in New York, they made a bet on who could go longer with shaving only one side of his face.

As you see, they committed fully to their bet. In the end, they decided to call it a draw, since neither of them would ever give in.

I’d like to say that Max got his stubbornness from me, but his dad is still the most stubborn person I’ve ever known. Once, he sat for hours in his car, on a scorching summer afternoon, trying to prevent another driver from pulling into a parking place that he thought was rightfully his. Max and I went into a cafe to wait it out. I explained that Daddy was playing a game. I assured him, sadly, that Daddy would win.

In my own life, being stubborn has been a quality I considered an asset, or at least a strength. No one can fuck with me and get away with it. I will never back down. I will never compromise my “honor.”

Lately, more than one friend has urged me to let something go….and I find it’s an alien concept.

When do you decide to “let something go?” Are there some things you refuse to “let go,” even if it would make life easier?

My friend Romeo persuaded me to attend a cat show on Sunday, and it far exceeded my expectations in every way. The cats were disgusting, and the cat fanciers were totally weird.

If you’re anything like me, and I know you are, you like to explore subcultures. It’s fun being a cultural tourist as long as you don’t get too close to the natives.

I don’t have a camera but I used my cellphone to capture the intriguing hairdos of the cat enthusiasts.

This girl sat next to me as the guy in the top photo assessed some gigantic oversized cats, including two that belonged to her and resembled young grizzly bears.

This shelf-configuration was better in person. Her friend is clearly jealous.

This hairdo was so intricate and the two-tone thing was really eye-catching. This is a true cat lady. I like to think that she bought some of the cat-themed jewelry that dangled from every other merchandise booth.

Ta da! I saved the best for last. What the fuck! I was blown away by this lady. She was like a show within a show. Look at that hair! I got as close as I could, but I couldn’t tell for sure what was going on in that hairnet. She might have actually had a cat in there, or even Daphne Guinness!  Let’s look at her one more time:

TheShoeGirl knows how to rock this look. Note the live animals that accent her outfit.

Marie is rocking the shit out of it, right?? She’s got a fucking teapot, for godsake!

Juri always knows how to kill it. I don’t know what that crap is in his sock but it’s totally rad.

Kate B is rocking layers and layers of insane opulent/dustbin goodness. No wonder her blog just won an award!

Rebecca’s look is an update to this post, as she had to wrangle her cat, which I mistook for a platypus at first.

Aja is probably going to rock that vase on her head when she hits the streets in all her finery.

Rosie has curated this look to PERFECTION! Even Ted Bundy would admit it!

Here is more Rosie, if you can handle it. Tavi Shmavi, this girl can style like a motherfucking riot.*

TheShoeGirl not only knows where her pussy is, she is killing Sea of Shoe with these heels, while killing this insanely chic look for Fall 2010.

~

Thank you geniuses for the mad inspiration!

I was thrilled to see these images at Rackk and Ruin, from the NYT Style magazine. I’m calling this look Nomadic Bag Lady.

I think we can all effect this look without having to buy anything new. If you put on everything you own, and just drag around the leftovers or tie it around your waist, voila! Fall 2010!

At most, you might have to buy a scrap of fur if your old man isn’t a taxidermist. But compared to last year when you had to buy an embarrassing band jacket, this look is frugaltastic, if not exactly effortless.

Anyone wishing to rock/kill this look, send me a photo and I’ll feature it in a follow up post.

Sometimes, you forget the shit you think you know, or should have known.  Here are two things I’ve learned this week:

1. You Can’t Judge a Book by its Cover.

I discovered that a blogger I’ve made fun of is actually a very nice girl with a kind heart and a sound perspective. Halcoholic has a lot of jewelry that I can’t stand, but she has an excellent sense of humor and a lovely disposition.  I misjudged her, and I am certainly man enough to say so. I can’t wait for her baby to get here!

2. You Can’t Get Blood From a Stone.

This one I had to be reminded about, by my dear friend R. You can’t un-crazy a crazy person, no matter how much you need them to be normal. It won’t happen. It’s a rule of physics stronger than the laws of gravity and thermodynamics. Crazy people will deliver more craziness each time you come back to the crazy well.

God, it feels good to learn something.  Knowledge may not set you free, but it’s the only thing you can truly acquire in this world. Everything else is just crap, like cockroach jewelry.

Last night, my husband expressed his disappreciation of the acting on True Blood. I agree that the acting is terrible. But I suggested to him that it might be worthwhile to see Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer having sex, given their hotness.

My husband claimed to have no interest at all in a sex tape with Bill and Sookie. Upon reflection, I wondered if I wanted to see any celebrities having sex. If you’ve seen the Pam and Tommy opus, you know exactly what I mean, right? It’s just tragic and disgusting.

Are there any celebrities whose sex tapes would appeal to you? Angie and Brad, maybe? Or is it all just awful?